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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26696287">Feel Again</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachanlv/pseuds/rachanlv'>rachanlv</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Porn, Connor is all for it, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied Suicide Attempt, M/M, but hear me out, dub-con vibe at first</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:06:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,716</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26696287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rachanlv/pseuds/rachanlv</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternative take on the devastating scene in the 'Night of the Soul' chapter. Deviant Connor comes to check up on Hank and make things right. And Hank is having none of it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hank Anderson/Connor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>95</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Feel Again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm sorry, but THIS is how this scene should've went. Period.</p>
<p>Also! A huge thank you to aheadfullofdreams89 and Wolveria ❤ ❤ ❤ This fic would never see the light of day without their support!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The moment when the front door creaked open with just a little push, Connor had a hunch that something was off. When he heard Sumo’s low, pitiful whine coming somewhere from the kitchen, Connor <em>knew</em> that something was wrong, terribly wrong. He instantly rushed there, LED swirling yellow and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Hank sitting at the table, with the revolver heavy in his hand. He was caught in the process of reloading it, Connor figured, because there was an ammo box lying right next to an almost empty bottle of whiskey. Hank looked up at him and every single word that Connor wanted to say, ‘Hank, I’m sorry’, ‘Please forgive me’, and many, <em>many</em> more, died out in his throat.</p><p> </p><p>‘The fuck you want?’ Hank asked, switching his attention back to the task at hand, popping one bullet into the barrel, then another, ‘Came to gloat some more?’</p><p>Connor took a careful step forward, his LED still swirling yellow, riling from trying to analyze the situation and trying to find the right words. He must choose wisely. Too much was on the line right now.</p><p>‘I- ‘ he tried again, but doesn’t know <em>what</em> to say. His mind is running a preconstruction of the possible outcomes for tonight, none of them are good. None of them have Hank still alive and breathing and that is something Connor cannot accept. Will never accept.</p><p>Hank didn’t pay him any attention, just pushed the sixth bullet into the barrel and span it, the distinctive twirl echoing menacingly through the room. Connor took another step, steady, and broken glass that crunched under his boot was enough to switch Hank’s attention back to him.</p><p>‘Why are you still here?’ there was irritation in his voice now, and when there was still no answer he went on, ‘Just get the hell out of my sight. I can’t even look at you…’</p><p>‘Why?’ Connor questioned, confused, but not at Hank’s words, but more at his own reaction to the words spoken; it made him feel… hurt.</p><p>Hank just glared at him at that, not believing that Connor had the nerve to actually ask him that. But what the hell, Hank thought; he’ll entertain that fucker with an answer.</p><p>‘Because I thought so much of you Connor, yet here we are: a broken old man and a heartless machine. And to think that I actually started to <em>like</em> you…’</p><p>Connor’s thirium pump contracted at the words, something in him shifting, he finally realized what he had to do, ‘I like you too, Lieutenant.’</p><p>That only earned him Hank’s hard stare, his jaw clenching tight, ‘Stop this manipulative bullshit and get the fuck out of my house.’</p><p>‘No,’ it was such a simple word, yet so liberating. Connor could see how it made Hank’s whole face change, his eyebrows shooting up in complete disbelief.</p><p>‘No? <em>No? </em>Shouldn’t you be an obedient lapdog or something, Connor? A machine, just following orders? That’s what you said to me, right? Right. You care about nothing; every emotion you ever showed was a fucking fake. So I repeat, and that’s a fucking <em>order</em>: get out of my house!’ Hank almost jumped up from his chair, fuming, pointing the gun straight at Connor now.</p><p>‘And I said ‘no’,’ Connor made a few confident steps forward, almost closing the distance between them, and it took him precisely 1.41 seconds to disarm Hank and unload the barrel, the bullets falling to the ground between them in a cascade. Hank just stood there, mouth hanging open, clearly he wasn’t expecting <em>that</em>. But neither did Connor expect Hank to wrap his throat in an iron grip in response, and slam him back first into the kitchen table. The table shook and creaked, threatening to break at such an impact.</p><p>‘I ordered you to leave! Why the fuck won’t you leave me alone, Connor?!’ Hank was shouting, angry, but Connor didn’t miss the way Hank looked at him, like he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do: break his neck or…</p><p> </p><p>Or?</p><p> </p><p>Connor had some difficulty talking, yet he still managed, ‘Hank- please, listen to me.’</p><p><em>The fucker is using my first name to get under my skin</em>, Hank thought. ‘It’s Lieutenant for you,’ he growled out, yet he didn’t tell him to shut up.</p><p>‘Lieutenant-‘ and when Hank’s hand closed over his neck more tightly , what left Connor’s mouth was a choked little moan and both of them froze up. Hank swallowed, Connor could see the movement of his Adam's apple, and swallowed <em>hard</em>. Connor didn’t understand his own reaction to this either, yet it felt <em>good</em>. They just stared at each other for the longest moment, tension thick and heavy between them.</p><p>‘Lieutenant, I-‘ Connor had tried to speak again, but all words were cut off by yet another moan, as Hank has tightened his hold again.</p><p>‘Fucking shit,’ Hank breathed out, and Connor can’t exactly read him, is it anger or arousal driving him now, ‘you’re faking it aren’t you?’  </p><p>Connor just shook his head from side to side, ‘I’m not. I really like you-’</p><p>‘Oh do you, now?’ Hank sneered, voice filling with spite and clear mistrust. He is drunk and bitter and angry at the android lying under him, but more than anything, he is angry at himself. Angry that he was so stupid to believe that Connor felt something, that he actually cared and all this is not just some fucked up ruse. ‘Do you like me that much to let me do this?’</p><p>And with one hand still on his throat, holding him in place, Hank undoes some of the buttons on Connor’s shirt with the other. Just a few were enough for him to slide right under the fabric, his rough hand dragging over the smooth artificial skin. He stopped though, looked up at Connor and Connor looked right back at him. Hank needed to see how masterfully he’d simulate it. So he dragged his thumb over Connor’s nipple, and honestly marveled at the response. Connor <em>gasped</em>, such a short and sweet sound, his back arched up from the table just slightly. <em>Again</em>, but this time Hank caught the nipple between his fingers and rubbed it, amazed that it actually perked up under his touch. And Connor, <em>god</em>, Connor let out the most delicious <em>mhmm</em>, and bit his lower lip. Hank would be lying if he’d say that the sight of his former partner lying right under him, shivering under his touch and moaning, did nothing to him. It <em>did, </em>so bad, his dick almost aching with how hard it is.</p><p>The new found anger washed over him, how dare this- this <em>machine</em>, play on his feelings like that. Play on his need and want, on this desire that Hank had to stifle for so long. He had fantasies, desperate and shameful ones, where he had Connor just like that. Bend over the kitchen counter, with his ass up in the air and Hank just pounded into him, hard and rough until they both came undone. Or the gentle ones, where Connor moaned softly into the pillows, his whole body shaking, loving how Hank ate his gorgeous ass out. Hank shook those thoughts away, none of them mattered. Not anymore. He’d never have that, but what he will have right now is his own twisted version of getting back at Connor, in a way. Getting back at him for toying with his emotions and making him <em>feel</em>, to yearn like a weak, love-struck fool.</p><p>To his surprise, when he released his grip on Connor’s throat and went straight to his belt, unbuckling it, Connor actually co-operated. Lifted his hips off the table a bit too eagerly, so Hank could drag his jeans off to his knees, then came the shoes and off with the rest of Connor’s pants. He left the shirt on cause Hank bet he’d love the view and <em>oh he did</em>. When Hank finally switched his attention back to the android before him, he had to bite down on the inside of cheek, <em>goddamnit</em>; his poor drunk brain was sent into a loop just from the sight. If anything, Connor had looked like the most delicious twink that Hank had ever seen; his daily porn sessions couldn’t even compare. With his pale freckled skin, cute pink nipples and perfect cock that clearly demanded attention; he looked exactly how Hank fantasized him to be. <em>Fuck</em>. </p><p>Connor’s red LED brought him back to reality though. And before Hank could even begin to have second thoughts about it, doubts that this isn’t right; he grabbed Connor right under his knee and spread his legs wider earning him a surprised gasp from the android. With another hand he tugged down his sweatpants and boxers in one go and his hard cock finally sprung free. With a groan, Hank clamped down on Connor’s hips and dragged him forward to the edge of the table and in one smooth motion pushed his knees back almost to his ears. Connor shuddered beneath him, but didn’t make an attempt to move away, or start a fight. And Hank fucking <em>hated</em> it. He hooked Connor’s leg over his shoulder and his now free hand shot up to his neck again, his fingers wrapped around it and gave it a testing squeeze, and when Connor blushed beneath him, his brown eyes becoming hooded with arousal, Hank barked out an angry laugh.</p><p> </p><p>‘Why aren’t you fighting back, Connor?’</p><p>‘Because I don’t <em>want </em>to,’ Hank could’ve sworn that Connor sounded a little bit breathless just now, yet still he sounded… resolute.</p><p>‘Oh for fuck’s sake, you’re still up with this charade? Pretending that you want any of this?’ the spite in his words would soon turn into venom if he’d keep that up. <em>Fuck you</em>, was Hank’s looping thought as he leaned forward and pressed the tip of his cock to Connor's exposed hole. He barely pushed in and neither of them could tell who’s drawn out groan it was when he finally sank inside. Hank’s hips jerked forward, an involuntarily motion, the tight wet heat wrapping around him was too staggering. </p><p>‘<em>Christ</em>, Connor- you’re so tight,‘ <em>and you feel so fucking good</em>, is what Hank chose not to say.</p><p> </p><p>And Connor moaned at the words, he doesn’t know why, but he did. Something about the way Hank said it, the way he dag his fingers into his skin was setting sparks in him, his processors were straining to keep up and not overheat. The feeling of being spread wide open on his Lieutenant’s cock was something indescribable; his mind was a jumbled mess.</p><p>With a shaky breath, Hank slid out almost completely, with just the tip of his cock still in and in one swift, hard motion slammed right back in. Connor’s eyes shot wide open at that, his hand shooting up to Hank’s chest, fisting into the fabric of his hoodie.</p><p>‘What,’ Hank spat, as he rolled his hips, in and out. He was aching to touch Connor, to wrap his hand around such a beautiful cock and jerk him off until he's shaking and coming. And when Connor didn’t answer –he couldn’t, he was too focused on the feeling of Hank’s cock inside him- Hank cursed under his breath and chased that idea away, slammed back into the welcoming heat instead. Grabbed Connor’s thigh in a vice hold and picked up the pace. Rough and shallow thrusts with little to no rhythm, he wasn’t sure he could last long with how tight Connor’s glorious ass was biting down on him.</p><p>And Connor, <em>fuck</em>, Connor was getting loud and so responsive. Moaning and groaning at each and every thrust, and Hank wasn’t sure that he was getting dizzy because of the whiskey or because Connor was driving him wild. He still can’t believe it, though. Still can’t believe that Connor actually loves this, loves how Hank fucks him raw. That all those moans and gasps and incoherent syllables that come dangerously close to 'please' and 'Hank' were really his, not just some program running. But by the way Connor clawed at Hank's thighs and pushed himself further down his cock until Hank was balls-deep inside of him, certainly made him waver. Hank closed his eyes and sucked in a breath, Connor was squeezing him so tight he can barely think. His mind was just a haze of lust, his thoughts centred on how Connor looked, how his brow creased and how his mouth hang slightly open, his whole face contoured in pleasure despite the rough pace. He was beautifully ruined and seemed so <em>alive</em>.</p><p> </p><p>The fist in his hoodie squeezed harder, yanking him forward, face close to Connor's now; their noses almost touching. From such a close distance, Hank could see that there are tears welling up in the corners of Connor's eyes. Hank blinked, taken aback, suddenly sober.</p><p>'Connor-?' Hank began but was interrupted by Connor's voice coming out strained and staticky.</p><p>'Hank,' he started, his fingers untangling from the hoodie and going up to rest on his cheek, 'Kiss me?'</p><p>And that was it. The final thing that made Hank's doubt crumble and made him see, finally see and <em>believe. </em>There was such honesty and yearning in Connor's eyes, no program could ever simulate that. Hank's heart stuttered and sank, he was so wrong, wrong from the start. Oh god, what did he do. He ruined everything.</p><p>'God, Connor,' he began to move away, voice wavering, he needed to get away and preferably find his gun to finish what he started, 'I'm sorry, Connor, I'm so-'</p><p>But Connor just wrapped his legs over Hank's waist to keep him there and pulled him in. They kissed and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. Hank's hands rested on either side of Connor's face, his thumb caressing his cheek as their breaths mingled. Connor ran his fingers down Hank's broad back, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them and all he could feel was the beating of Hank's heart against his chest. The spark shot up through Connor again, his hands going down Hank's spine and stopping on his ass, urging him start moving again. Hank groaned into the kiss, couldn't believe that Connor would still want this, and kissed him harder, desperate now. Connor broke off the kiss with a delicious, rasped out <em>ahh </em>as Hank began to move, finally, slowly rocking his hips. His cock sliding in and out, almost tortuously slow, making Connor shiver and want more.</p><p> </p><p>'Faster,' Connor moaned, unable to keep this up, to pretend that he didn't want Hank to fuck him into the table again.</p><p>'You sure?' Hank had to ask, eyes searching Connor's for any sight of reluctance. But all he found was clear-cut want and need and that was all the permission he needed.</p><p>Hank sped up, burying his face in the crook of Connor's neck, licking and biting at the skin, getting drunk again, but this time on Connor's beautiful moans. His hand found its way down between their bodies and wrapped around Connor's cock and <em>fuck</em>, the way it throbbed in his hand was maddening.  He knows he won't last long. The table was shaking and threatening to break at the impact of their fucking, but neither of them cared at this point. They were two men starved, chasing their pleasure and finding it in each other.</p><p>With a strangled moan Connor stumbles over the edge first, shaking under Hank's touch. Hank came just moments later, growling into Connor's skin. They stayed like that for a long while, catching their breath.</p><p> </p><p>'You okay?' <em>stupid question</em>, Hank thought, looking at Connor's LED blinking red and yellow and finally going back to blue, 'You probably gonna go now, huh? Save the world and shit.'</p><p>Connor blinked, then smiled as he wrapped his arms around Hank's neck, 'I didn't come here to save the world, I came here for you.'</p><p> </p><p>Although his eyes stung, Hank pressed his lips against Connor's. Nothing will be like it was before. Would it be better or worse? Connor kissed him back and Hank actually believed in something good for a change.</p>
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